What if
by risika373
Summary: AU version of Wyatt and Lucy's story. What if they had acted on their feelings and eliminated Rittenhouse?
1. Chapter 1

The last few months of Wyatt Logan's life were the most confusing ones that he had ever lived. The night before they had destroyed Rittenhouse, he had slept with Lucy, it had been impetuous and unplanned, but being with her had felt right. Then after the helped Flynn destroy Rittenhouse, he came back to a world where Jessica was still alive.

Lucy had never been able to hide her emotions very well, especially from him, but she had been stoic when she told him to go home to his wife. She walked out of his life like he had meant nothing to her, and as much as he hated to admit it, that hurt him. Even though Wyatt had been happy to hear about Jess, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about Lucy since that day. He had tried calling her, texting, emailing and even sending her letters, but she never responded.

As much as he missed though, she wasn't in the forefront of his mind today. He had received a strange call from a nurse at a hospital back in San Francisco telling him that he needed to come in to sign some paperwork. Confusion filled his mind. He asked the nurse what the paperwork was for, but she said that it would be better to discuss it in person. He told her that he would be in the next day, and then he booked a redeye flight to San Francisco.

Wyatt carefully considered a cover story as to why he would have to go back to San Francisco. Jess had been asking a lot of questions about what he had done for Connor Mason, questions he couldn't answer. He decided to tell Jessica that he had to go back to Mason industries to finish some forgotten paperwork; she got irritated with him. They had been fighting a lot lately, and Wyatt had been spending less and less time at home. They had spent the last few months trying different fertility treatments, but nothing had worked. Each failure made Jessica more depressed and brought more discord into their marriage. Wyatt didn't know how much more arguing he could take.

After their fight over him going back resulted in Jess storming out of their apartment, Wyatt collapsed on the couch exhausted. He sat for a minute, then pulled out his phone and called Rufus.

Rufus answered after two rings, and Wyatt could hear the smile in his voice. "Hey man! I haven't heard from you in ages. How is everything going with you and Jessica?"

"Not great, but thanks for asking. I just got a call from a hospital in San Francisco telling me that I need to fly out there to sign some paperwork."

"That's odd," Rufus said, confused. "Why wouldn't they just email or fax it to you? And what is the paperwork for, anyway? You didn't go to a hospital while we were time travelling."

"I don't' know what its for, but they insisted that it needed to be dealt with in person and quickly. I'm flying in tomorrow and I was wondering if I can crash on your couch while I'm in town."

"Of course you can! That will give us the chance to get caught up."

"Speaking of caught up, have you heard from Lucy?"

Rufus went silent for a few moments before responding carefully. "I've talked to her and we've emailed a few times, but every time I try to meet up with her she makes up an excuse to get out of it. She won't meet up with Jiya or Agent Christopher either. She's been acting strange since we took down Rittenhouse."

Wyatt didn't respond to that comment. He was sure that Lucy was acting strange because of their night together, but he didn't want to discuss that with Rufus. "My plane lands tomorrow at 6:30 am. I'm going straight to the hospital to sign this mysterious paperwork, and then I'll be to your place around nine. Is that okay?"

"Of course. We'll see you tomorrow."

Wyatt was tired and crabby by the time his plane landed the next morning. He had never really been able to sleep while travelling, and he hadn't gotten much of a chance to sleep before leaving for the airport the night before. He trudged outside to a waiting taxi, and gave the cabbie the address of the hospital. A few minutes later, he climbed out of the cab and made his way to the front desk just inside the entrance.

"Hi, I'm looking for a nurse named Madison Kennedy. Where could I find her?"

"May I let her know who is asking?"

"Tell her Wyatt Logan is here to see her. She is expecting me."

The nurse at the desk paged Nurse Kennedy over the intercom, and instructed Wyatt to sit in the waiting area until she arrived. He slumped down in a chair a few feet away from the desk and closed his eyes. He was just starting to relax when he heard someone approaching him.

"Excuse me, are you Wyatt Logan?" a soft voice inquired.

Wyatt opened his eyes to see a woman in her mid-twenties standing in front of him. He gave her a tired smile. "Yes ma'am. You said you had some paperwork that you needed me to sign?"

Nurse Kennedy shifted nervously. "I have two forms for you to sign." She handed him a pen, and pointed to the bottom of each form. "Please sign here and here."

Wyatt quickly signed the forms without bothering to read them. He handed the nurse his pen and asked, "Is there anything else that you need from me?"

"Let me make you copies of each form and then you are free to go."

Wyatt watched her scurry away, and then he relaxed back into the chair and closed his eyes again. A couple of minutes later, Nurse Kennedy returned and handed him an envelope containing a copy of each form. She hesitated for a moment after he took the envelope, then asked, "Do you have any questions?"

"No ma'am."

"Well then, have a lovely day, Mr. Logan."

Wyatt watched her as she practically ran out of the waiting area. "That's odd," he thought as she disappeared around the corner. He lumbered outside and caught a cab to Rufus's apartment. As the cab pulled away from the curb, Wyatt was overcome with curiosity about the forms that he had just signed. He pulled them carefully out of the envelope and unfolded them. What he saw written on the top of each page made him freeze: Certification of Birth.


	2. Chapter 2

Rufus watched Wyatt down a shot of whiskey. He had shown up at Rufus's apartment an hour ago with a large bottle of whiskey, rage etched into his face. Rufus had asked him what was wrong, but all Wyatt did was toss the envelope containing the birth certificates of Wyatt's twin daughters at him. Rufus was still in shock after reading the certificates. What had surprised him the most was that Lucy's name was listed on the mother's line.

After taking another shot, Wyatt looked up at Rufus. "Did she tell you?"

"I promise you, Wyatt, I didn't know. However, now that I know, a lot of things over the last few months make sense."

"What do you mean?"

"Lucy has refused to meet in person over the last six months. She'll talk over the phone, but she's been distant." Rufus gave Wyatt an apologetic look. "I swear to you, if I had known I would have told you."

"I don't know what to do, Rufus." Wyatt sounded lost, afraid. Unshed tears shone in his eyes, but he refused to let them fall.

"Go talk to her, man. Find out why she didn't tell you. Go meet your daughters."

Lucy gazed lovingly down at her newborn twin girls. They were so beautiful, a perfect mix of her and Wyatt. They had his eyes stunningly blue eyes and his lips, but they had her face shape and dark hair. She couldn't imagine two more perfect babies in the world. She watched them for a few moments longer, smiling at how they clung to each other even in sleep. They were never happy unless they were near each other. They were quiet, content babies which Lucy was grateful for. She was dreading leaving them in a few weeks to go back to teaching, but she knew that she didn't have another choice.

As she crept out of their room, part of her wished that Wyatt could see his daughters. He would adore them. But she couldn't bring herself to tell him of their existence. He finally had Jessica back, and she wasn't going to do anything to mar his happiness.

She went down the hall and crawled between the sheets of her unmade bed. She had learned quickly to sleep when the babies slept, otherwise she would never get any rest. She was unconscious seconds after her head hit the pillow. She was pulled into dreams of the past: being shot at by Al Capone and Jesse James, drinking with Josephine Baker. She was in the middle of receiving a lecture from Hemingway when the ringing of the doorbell woke her up.

"Please don't wake the babies, please don't wake the babies," she silently prayed. She heard her mother downstairs rushing to the door, knowing that her mother was just as worried about the twins waking up as Lucy was. She rolled over and looked at the clock. Two hours had passed since she had put the girls down. They would be waking up soon wanting to be fed. She always thought that they looked like baby birds when they wanted to eat, and that thought made her smile.

She was just getting ready to doze off again when she heard her mother arguing with someone. Lucy got out of bed and tiptoed to her bedroom door, curious to see who her mother was so angry with. She gasped as she heard a man's voice rang out. "JUST LET ME TALK TO HER!"

Wyatt.


	3. Chapter 3

Carol Preston breathed a sigh of relief when she heard Lucy close the door to the twin's nursery. As much as she loved her granddaughters, she knew how much Lucy needed some rest. Carol bustled around the kitchen taking advantage of the quiet time to do some cleaning. She hummed Red River Valley as she hurried about wiping the counters and cleaning baby bottles.

After an hour of tidying the kitchen, Carol curled up on the couch and opened her book of Emily Dickinson poetry. She lost herself in the poet's timeless words, and before she knew it another hour had passed. She set down her book and stood up to get some water and stretch. She had just grabbed a glass when the doorbell rand.

"Don't wake up the twins, don't wake up the twins!" Carol muttered frantically as she bolted to the front door. She threw it open unceremoniously to find a man that she had never seen before standing on her porch. She stared at him for a moment, taking in his arresting blue eyes, disheveled clothes and the rage that was rolling off of him.

"May I help you?" Carol inquired of the stranger. He took a step closer, as if he was trying to look into the house. She had to refrain from gasping when she got a closer look at his eyes. They were the eyes that stared up at her from the twins' faces. This man was the girls' father.

"I need to talk to Lucy," the man growled.

"She's indisposed at the moment. If you come back in an hour or so she'll be available."

"I need to talk to her now."

"I'm sorry, but she's unavailable."

The man's face started to turn a deep shade of red. "I have to speak to your daughter right now. She owes me an explanation as to why she hasn't talked to me for the last few months."

As the man was speaking, Carol caught a whiff of alcohol on the man's breath. "You need to calm down and sober up before I'll let you see Lucy."

"JUST LET ME TALK TO HER!"

Carol stood her ground, silently staring the man down. After a few moments he looked away. "You may come back in a few hours once you have collected yourself. May I tell her who to expect?"

He glanced up at her, defeat replacing the anger. "Tell her Wyatt stopped by. I'll come back this evening."

Carol watched Wyatt walk away from the house, head hanging low. He looked lost, broken. She closed the door quietly and made her way to the kitchen, unable to focus on reading now. She opened the fridge and started pulling out ingredients to make lasagna, hopping that cooking would take her mind off of the strange encounter she'd just had.

Lucy watched Wyatt walk away from her house from her bedroom window. His posture and his gait reminded Lucy of her conversation with Josephine Baker in 1927 Paris. Lucy and Wyatt may not have been a part of the Lost Generation, but they and Rufus made up their own misplaced generation. After everything they had witnessed, they didn't feel like they belonged anywhere. They had seen too much, changed too much to belong in their original reality. They had protected bad guys, failed to protect good guys, and had murdered people in cold blood all in the attempt to protect the future.

Lucy would never be able to forget how it felt when she had killed Jesse James. She could still smell the gunpowder and blood, feel the night cold kissing her skin, and see the look of shock and horror on Wyatt's face. When Wyatt and Rufus asked her why she had done it, she told them she had pulled that trigger because Jesse James was meant to die; she was protecting history. But even though she could lie to them, she knew she couldn't lie to herself. She had killed him for Wyatt. He was an honorable man who had made a promise to Bass Reeves not to kill Jesse James. He was tempted to, but she knew that if he crossed that line he would never forgive himself. He carried enough guilt between Jessica's murder and leaving his team behind to die; she wanted to spare him the culpability of murdering and injured, unarmed man.

Lucy clambered back into bed, but she wasn't able to fall back asleep. She kept picturing Wyatt lumbering away from her door, looking like an empty shell of a man. What had happened to him in the last few months? She heard the babies begin to stir and made her way to their nursery, she scooped them up and pulled them close, laying aside her worries to enjoy the small piece of heaven that she held in her arms.

Wyatt spent three hours wandering aimlessly around San Francisco, desperately fighting the urge to go back to Lucy's and demanding to see his daughters. Deciding that moping around was a bad idea, he went to the nearest store to pick up supplies. One hour and a few hundred dollars later, he left the store laden down with bags full of clothes, diapers, books and stuffed animals.

He hailed a cab and fought to control his nerves as he impatiently waited to arrive at Lucy's. Twenty minutes later he was standing on her porch ringing the doorbell. He heard hurried footsteps as someone rushed to the door. It swung open to reveal a slightly frazzled Carol. "Oh, it's you. Sorry, we lost track of time. Come in, I'll go get Lucy."

She left Wyatt standing in the entry way as she bolted upstairs, a moment later the sound of screaming babies filled the house. Without consciously realizing what he was doing, he dropped the bags and ran up the stairs. He followed the wailing down the hall to a nursery. His eyes immediately locked on his daughters and he froze. He couldn't believe how beautiful they were even when they were red faced and crying.

Carol shoved one of the infants into his arms. "Please hold her for a minute."

He scrutinized the little girl. She was so tiny, and part of him was afraid of breaking her. Instinctively he began to rock from side to side in an attempt to calm her. After a few seconds her screaming ceased and her eyes opened. He had never before considered his eyes mesmerizing until he saw them gazing up at him from his daughter's face. For the few moments that she made eye contact, she held him captive. He knew in that instant that these two little girls would always have him wrapped around their little fingers. He snuggled her to his chest, and felt a wave of peace and contentment sweep through him. The last time he had felt this way was when he was with Lucy.

Wyatt suddenly became painfully aware of how silent the room had become. He glanced around to see that Carol had stepped out, leaving him and Lucy alone with the now sleeping twins. They locked gazes for an instant. Lucy turned away first, , staring lovingly at the slumbering bundle in her arms.

He broke the silence. "We need to talk, Luce," he whispered.

"I know, but not right now please. This moment is perfect; I don't want to ruin it."

"Okay." He needed to know why she had hidden the girls from him, but he would wait until she was ready.


	4. Chapter 4

Once the babies were settled in to bed, Wyatt and Lucy tiptoed down the stairs and sat on the couch. A tense silence filled the room; Finally Lucy couldn't handle it anymore. "What are you doing here, Wyatt?"

"Your hospital contacted me and had me go in to sign the birth certificates."

She sighed. "I'm sorry, Wyatt. I didn't want you to find out that way."

"Did you ever want me to find out?"

Tears welled up in Lucy's eyes. "I don't know," she whispered.

Wyatt took a moment to breathe, trying to calm his anger before responding to Lucy. "You didn't think I had the right to know that I'm a father?"

"I didn't want to ruin your life with Jessica."

"Those little girls couldn't ruin my life!"

She took a shaky breath, as if she was trying not to cry. "All you wanted was to get Jessica back, Wyatt. You finally have her. I wasn't going to cause any problems for you."

"You didn't even ask me if that was what I wanted."

A look of confusion passed over her face. "I don't understand…"

"When you told me to go home to my wife, you didn't bother to ask me if that was what I wanted."

"I just assumed it was! You fought so hard to get her back-"

"Things change! I had finally convinced myself that she was never coming back. I fell in love with you, and you walked away from me! You never gave me a chance to make a choice.

"You would've chosen her, Wyatt."

He glared at her. "You don't know that." He began to pace angrily. Silence filled the room for a few minutes as he stomped back and forth. Lucy's hand tentatively landed on his shoulder. He whirled around, and without any thought as to what he was doing, he pinned her against the wall and kissed her.

Lucy remained motionless for a split second, shocked at this turn of events; but she quickly responded to Wyatt's touch and began to lose herself in the kiss. It was the most passionate and intense kiss that she had ever experienced, and she found herself melting into him. She had almost abandoned all thought when the felt the touch of cool metal against her jaw. Wyatt's wedding ring. She pushed him away, feeling her heart shatter as she did. She had fallen hard for him, unable to stop herself. Now she was paying the price for her reckless heart.

"We can't do this." She saw agony creep into his eyes. "You need to go home to Jessica."

"Lucy-"

"No, Wyatt. You need to figure out exactly what you want. When you decide, let me know." She strode to the door and opened for him. As he moved to leave, she caught his arm. "You are always welcome to come visit the girls. Even if you choose Jessica, you are still their father, and I want them to know you."

He pulled Lucy to him and hugged her so tightly that she was certain he would break her ribs, but she didn't complain. She returned his embrace for a moment, and then he left her house without another word.

Wyatt stared at his daughters' birth certificates for the entire flight home. Caterina Eleanor Logan and Josephine Victoria Logan. Knowing Lucy, she named them after famous women, but he didn't know who. He made a mental note to ask her later. He also decided that he much preferred the nicknames he had heard her call them: Katia and Josie.

He thought about his little girls, how perfect they were. When he had left Lucy's, he didn't know what hurt worse- leaving her or leaving them. He had only met them once and he already missed holding them. He missed Katia snuggling into him as she fell asleep. He missed Josie squirming in his arms, upset until he gave her a bottle. He had already begun to bond with them, and leaving them and their mother was the hardest thing he had ever done. He knew that he had made up his mind even before he had walked off the plane. He needed to talk to Jessica.


End file.
